Books Read in 2016

Book List 2016

Complete reads:
red = book club read

1. 7 Women - Eric Metaxas
2. Gilead - Marilynn Robinson
3. Hockey
4. How We Got the Bible - Timothy Jones
5. The Four Loves - C.S. Lewis
6. Nineteen Minutes - Jodi Piccoult
7. The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared - Jonas Jonassen
8. Ilusion - Frank Peretti
9. The Martian - Andy Weir
10. Okay for Now (audio) - Gary Schmidt
11. Working Stiff - Judy Melinek, M.D.
12. Prayer - Tim Keller
13. The National Parks: An Illustrated History  - Kim Heacox
14. 7 Men - Eric Metaxas
15. Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
16. 7 Brief Lessons on Physics - Carlo Rovelli
17. HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
18. The BFG - Ronald Dahl
19. Hondo - Lois L’amour
20. The Westing Game - Ellen Raskin
21. Quiet:The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking - Susan Cain
22. Ready Player One - Ernest Cline
23. His Needs, Her Needs - Willard F Harley, Jr.
24. The Optimist’s Daughter - Eudora Welty
25. Love at First Bark: How Saving a Dog Can Sometimes Help you Save Yourself - Julie Klam 
26. The Jungle (audio) - Upton Sinclair
27. Death of a Salesman (play) - Arthur Miller
28. The Mingling of Souls (audio) - Matt Chandler
29. The Sacred Search - Gary Thomas
30. Smarter Better Faster - Charles Duhigg
31. I Dared to Call Him Father (audio) - Bilquis Sheikh
32. The Boy in the Suitcase - Agnete Friis & Lene Kaaberbol
33. Same Kind of Different as Me - Ron Hall and Denver Moore
34. Until Tuesday (audio) - Bret Witter & Luis Carlos
35. When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi & Abraham Verghese
36. The Magnolia Story - Chip and Joanna Gaines
37. Fever - Megan Abbott
38. Life of Pi (audio) - Yann Martel
39. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back and High Heat - Lee Child
40. The Dressmaker - Rosalie Ham
41. Hidden Christmas - Tim Keller
42. Open - Craig Gross
43. Wonder - Emma Donoghue

Partial reads:

1. Me Before You - JoJo Moyes
2. For Whom the Bells Toll - Ernest Hemingway
3. Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America - Erik Larson
4. Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
5. Love Does - Bob Goff
6. Orthodoxy - G.K. Chesterton
7. The Count of Monte Cristo (audio) - Alexandre Dumas

Diamonds

Sometimes, life is hard. This moment in my life is one of those times. I do not like going through the fire of painful events. I do not like the refining process. And in the middle of the heat, it is hard to remain hopeful that something beautiful will result.

Relationships help us see who we are because we cannot know who we are in isolation. Different personalities sharpen each other or cause sparks to fly. Either way, you cannot be unaffected by interacting with another human being. We all leave our mark on each other. I suppose one of the bigger questions to consider is what mark are you making?

Jesus wants to make his mark on me as well. As a Christ follower, I am to be marked by love. That is the way Jesus said the world would know we are his disciples: if we love one another. In the spirit-crushing times, though, it is impossible to love by one’s own power. It’s just too hard. Cue Holy Spirit.

The song I kept hearing on the radio yesterday speaks to this process. It’s a peppy tune that makes you want to punch the audio system when you are fighting back the tears. It doesn’t always make sense – how can one be joyful under pressure? Pressure is uncomfortable. Star Wars analogy anyone? Remember when Luke and Leia are in the trash compactor – not a pleasant experience. Fire is uncomfortable. Anyone burn their skin before? It’s not fun and it’s not something you voluntarily repeat if you are sane. But I suppose that is what it takes to perfect us – to cut, melt, burn away the ugliness of our sin: selfishness, idolatry, fear, impatience.

Diamonds – Hawk Nelson

“Here and now I’m in the fire, in above my head
Being held under the pressure, don’t know what will be left
But it’s here in the ashes
I’m finding treasure

He’s making diamonds
Making diamonds
He’s making diamonds out of dust
He is refining
And in his timing
He’s making diamonds out of us

I’ll surrender to the power of being crushed by love
‘Til the beauty that was hidden isn’t covered up
It’s not what I hoped for
It’s something much better

Oh The Joy of the Lord
It will be my strength
When the pressure is on
He’s making Diamonds”

Like Lucy

It’s such a weird feeling not being able to be with family for the holidays. If any of you have seen “While You Were Sleeping,” you have a glimpse of what it feels like. In some ways, I feel very much like Lucy. This Thanksgiving week I have the necessary, but isolating, task of providing medical care on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. No possible way to go home. And even if I decided to drive the 9-hour round trip to central Missouri, I would end up at an empty house as my parents are flying halfway across the United States to visit my sister and bro-in-law.

I watch as both my ex-boyfriends are going home with their families to celebrate the holidays. One with a girlfriend; the other will also celebrate a birthday. And my heart is sad – it feels keenly the loss of a family by proxy. I watch as my roommate leaves with her boyfriend to spend time with his family two states away. My single friends have places to go, family to see. I know I’m not the only one alone this holiday – but sometimes that’s the way it feels.

Although I tend to keep busy and find plenty of things to occur my mind and time, if I stop, it becomes hard to deny the loneliness. I think this has been my particular burden for years – on and off through high school, college, working years, and grad school. I know I can’t “fix” this issue. I know no person can “fix” this issue. It’s an issue of the heart and spirit. Only Jesus truly satisfies. He does want use to have community, companionship, and life partners too though.

As you’ve probably noticed, there’s a whole lot of “feeling” going on here. I know my thoughts guide my emotions. I know emotions can be deceitful. I know truth should be the guiding principle for my emotions. I get it; my mind knows it. But my heart is still lagging.

This post is not intended to blame anyone. It’s not a call to action for others to fix the issue. I think it’s more for my benefit to write it than for people to solve the problem. I’m still a desperate work in progress. I yearn for the day when we are perfected and all hurt is banished forever.

A Few of My (Least) Favorite Things

It's interesting how the seasons work. As the leaves fall and the temperatures drop, I am reminded once again that sometimes you have to go through your least favorite seasons to get to the ones you actually enjoy. Now if you are a winter-lover, reverse this analogy. However, I hate being cold. The early darkness makes me moody and tired. No matter how many years I live in Iowa, I don't think I will ever truly enjoy the season of winter. Aspects of winter? Of course. The entire season? No way.

That being said, life can feel the same way. I'm not in a season I particularly enjoy. In fact, I would really love not to be in this season. But that's ok, because there must be something beautiful developing that will be lovely and enjoyable. Just have to wade through the aloneness, (often overwhelming) options, and remain faithful. 

One thing I've learned in this season is that we all need people in our lives. People can drive you nuts and can challenge you and can comfort you and can hurt you and everything in between. They can seem to be the problem and they can seem to be the solution. But the thing that has been most apparent to me is that they bring out the qualities in my life that were already there - magnifying the selfishness, kindness, impatience, helping spirit, loneliness that was there all along. It's like they say about marriage - two imperfect people joining together does not make one perfect person; it only magnifies the imperfections. And that can be true of any relationship (friendship, family, professional, or romantic). 

I suppose it's an admirable thing to be constantly changing to be better. It doesn't seem to get any easier though, even knowing I don't have to do it by myself through my own sheer will power. 

Maybe this post is only relevant to me. Maybe not. Either way, it's what's on my mind. 

WORDS

WORDS

The power to bring life.

Or death.

 

To lift someone up.

Or crush their spirit.

 

To make you feel valuable and loved.

Or debased.

 

To pour out blessing.

Or call down curses.

 

Choose wisely.

Words are like fingerprints. How do you want to be identified?

 

Epic Road Trip

It's amazing to think it is already August. The summer has flown by. Most of my time has been spent at work, but I've also managed to squeeze in attending two weddings, getting braces on my teeth, and buying a bicycle. The latter two have been on my life to-do list/bucket list for several years now, so it's nice to be seeing progress made there.

This past weekend I returned from an epic road trip with two friends as well. One of my friends asked herself who would be willing to drive thousands of miles just to check off some states from her to-see list, and I was the person she thought of first! Such a great reputation to have :) So, she and my roommate and I all packed up our rental car and started out on a 9-day tour of the southeast United States to see some sights.

The itinerary included some outdoor and indoor attractions, National Parks and Monuments stops, capitol building tours, camping and staying with airbnb hosts, and visiting friends and family.

Highlights:
Ark Encounter (KY)

 

Smoky Mountains (TN), hiking and camping

 

 

Biltmore Mansion (Asheville, NC)

 

 

Rainbow Row (Charleston, SC)

 

 

Castillo de San Marcos (St. Augustine, FL)

 

Jacksonville (FL) beach, sunrise

 

 

World of Coca Cola (Atlanta, GA)

 

 

Rosa Parks Museum (Montgomery, AL)

 

Central High School National Historic Site and visitor center (AR)

Trip stats: total of 3,349 miles driven through 15 states in the span of 9 days.

 

Capitol buildings visited (#6) on this trip: Columbia, SC (closed on Sunday); Atlanta, GA; Montgomery, AL; Jackson, MS; Little Rock, AR; Jefferson City; MO.

 

This brings my capitols visited total to 16 plus Washington, D.C.

 

 

It's fun having friends who support each other with their goals :) 

 





One of my life goals is to visit all 50 states in the U.S. Thanks to Concert Choir in college and other trips to represent Evangel, and family vacations, and friends being adventurous, I have nearly reached that goal. There are only five states left (I probably have been through W. VA and Rhode Island, but I don't remember them, so it doesn't count). Here's to continued adventures in life!

Then and Now

What do I want in life? What are my dreams and desires? They seem to change over time. Looking back on landmarks of my life, I can see the changes. You know those questionnaires you fill out about what you like and where you hope to be in 5 or 10 years? Yeah, well those are fun to review occasionally. It’s also enlightening to take a trip down memory lane.

Ten years ago, I was getting ready to graduate from high school. It was the week before my 18^th birthday – which my sister celebrated by throwing a surprise party. We played laser tag. I was Flo in the homeschool dinner theater and rocked out oldies on the keyboard in our “band.” I played at my last Fine Arts Festival. I staffed TeenPact and worked at Spanish camp and was in the Stained Glass Theater’s sequel – Return to Belle Plains. I was having senior pictures taken and pondering if I really actually wanted to leave home and go to college in the fall.

My 18th birthday.

My first cell phone! I thought this was the coolest thing.

And then looking back five years ago, I was finished with college. I had taken a trip to Kenya for three weeks to celebrate being done and then started my job as a technician in the ER in January. I was living with three other lovely ladies from Evangel who were also done with or finishing their college careers. I was stressing out over whether to apply to PA school or med school. I was about to turn 23 years old.

My 23rd birthday.

My 23rd birthday.

Graduation from Evangel with my bachelor's degree.

In some ways, things are still the same. I’m still trying to “figure out life.” I’m still striving to become a better person. I’m still experiencing huge changes. This time around, I’m looking at my 28^th birthday around the corner. One more week to make the most of my 27^th year of life. I’ve finished graduate school and have a “big girl job” as a physician assistant. I’m still in the infancy of my career.

Easter Sunday, March 27, 2016.

The past two sets of 5 years have held new phases of life academically. Along with those phases have been other life changes, growth, locations. Although I don’t anticipate a new formal academic phase these new 5 years, I do know I won’t ever stop learning in the career I have chosen. Location-wise, it’s hard to know where I’ll be.

Other goals for the next five years include: Paying off my car. Paying off my student loans. Making a dent toward saving for a house. Having a garden. Visiting at least one more state on my to-visit list. Going on at least one medical mission trip. Becoming more like Jesus. Spending time in reading His word and praying. Sponsoring a child internationally. Investing in the community – of my city and my church. Buying a keyboard. Having braces to correct my teeth. Growing in relationships, hopefully including marriage and kids.

Goals change with each stage. Priorities shift. People come in and out of one’s life. Life offers new opportunities and introduces you to things which you didn’t even know existed. Here’s to the next 5 years of learning, changing, and living.