Thankfulness

In honor of the upcoming holiday, I decided to take some time thinking about all the things I'm grateful for in my life. It only seemed appropriate to come up with one for each year I've lived. So without further ado and in no particular order, the 26 things I'm thankful for this season:

1. Health – working in healthcare and rotating through various specialties this year, I’ve come to understand the value of good health even more than I had previously. We should never take good health for granted. It is certainly a gift.

2. Vision – I’ve always been a somewhat visual person. I learn so much better through reading than listening. During my healthcare mission trip to India, I saw the wonder that happens when a person who hadn’t seen clearly for decades put on a pair of glasses and could see again. It’s a beautiful sight. As I think about examples of things I love, vision plays a substantial role: the beauty of a child’s smile, gorgeous colors of a sunset, the stunning artistry of the changing seasons, glittering stars and the brilliance of moonlight.

3. Hearing – I’m incredibly thankful for my hearing as well. With this gift, I can enjoy the inspiring melodies and harmonies of music, listen to the rain on the roof, have heart-felt conversations, and admire the symphony of nature.

4.Reading – I was reminded recently through a patient encounter of the huge privilege I have growing up in the country I did, the opportunities afforded by our culture and my parents who invested in my education. Literacy. Libraries. Books. Change comes with knowledge. The Burmese immigrant I encountered could barely sign her name, and my heart broke that she had not known the blessing that comes by being able to read and write. I’ve always had a dream to help adults learn to read. Maybe one day that dream will materialize.

5. Learning – For anyone who knows me even remotely, I think it’s safe to say it’s obvious I love to learn. It almost doesn’t matter what it is. The learning process is reward in itself. I’m thankful for the gift of being able to use my mental abilities through the career I’ve chosen. Every day affords something new to learn. And I know I won’t stop learning as long as I live.

6. Challenges – Most, if not all people, dislike challenges. We never wish for hard times. But I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s during the difficult times we grow the most. So for that reason, I’m thankful for circumstances in which I otherwise can’t see any value or point. If they draw me closer to Jesus and make me a better person, they’re worth it.

7. Jesus – Truly, salvation is the greatest gift of all. As I dig deeper into studying the grace of the gospel, I continually come to a better understanding of my sin and God’s love. I am thankful to Jesus in ways only eternity will be able to fully reveal.

8. Faith – Sometimes striving for what we hope for and can’t see is difficult. We grow weary and discouraged. But I’m continually being reminded that the race is worth running. I’m thankful that there’s more than our sight can see. Faith is an anchor in the storms. A map to guide us.

9. Parents – I don’t even know where to start in my gratitude to my parents. They have continually shown their support and love for me. They model beautiful lives of living for Jesus, have been a wonderful mom and dad, have raised me to be independent, productive, caring, and never stop challenging myself. I know they are there to laugh or cry with me, pray or encourage me, visit me or to give advice.

10. Sister – There’s nothing quite like having your sister for your best friend. She just gets me. I’m thankful for our fun times, navigating life together but apart, her encouragement, and caring soul.

11. Chocolate – Chocolate just makes everything better. Not sure there’s much else to say about this one.

12. Transportation – I’m incredibly thankful for having a vehicle to drive. When I had my accident a few weeks ago, it made me appreciate this gift even more.

13. Travel – Throughout my lifetime, I’ve had amazing God-given opportunities to travel through the country and world. I love learning about new places, experiencing culture, exploring history and local eats, meeting new people and seeing things through their perspective. Not sure the travel bug will ever go away, but I’ll enjoy the ride while it lasts.

14. Friends – Life shouldn’t be lived alone. I’ve become even more convinced of this fact recently than I even was before. We are created to support others, love others, sharpen each other through our words and actions, come alongside each other during hard times, and celebrate each other’s joys. I’m thankful for my “lifelong” friends as well as my friends for seasons.

15. Humor – Life without laughter is a sad life. Yes, the irony of that statement doesn’t escape me. But it’s true. Laughter is good for the soul. I’m thankful my parents cultivated a good sense of humor in me throughout my childhood and that God has given me the ability to see humor in everyday life.

16-19. Shelter, Food, Water, Warmth – Even though I’m a nomad this year, I am thankful for a roof over my head. I’m thankful for the strange beds that make my muscles ache, and the flights of stairs I climb every rotation moving into a new place. I’m thankful for something to eat, dishes to wash, and bills to pay. I’m thankful for being able to walk over to a sink faucet and drip from the tap. That we have access to clean water that won’t infect us with cholera. I’m thankful for warmth – for cuddly blankets and comforting quilts. For hot showers and warm drinks. For sunshine and heat in the car. Especially during this colder season. Think about it; we are incredibly blessed.

20. Truth – I’m thankful for truth. God is truth and he has revealed truth. He has revealed himself through his word, through creation, through others. I’ve always valued honesty. When I first started working the ER, I though everyone was telling me the truth. Then when I realized they weren’t, I felt betrayed. I’m thankful that I have people in my life who are truthful with me, who speak truth to me, and point out the lies I’ve either believed or am living.

21. Opportunity – Every day offers new opportunity. I am constantly aware of the huge responsibility I have been given by taking on a medical career. Not only in work, though. In other ways, I have daily opportunities:  to build someone up or tear them down, to become closer to Jesus or further away, to push out of my comfort zone or to be content with comfort and the status quo, to be lazy or productive, to embrace discontent or a spirit of joy.

22. Dancing – Since my homeschool days in contra dance and now with country dancing, I have always loved the beauty of creating art through dance. The patterns and interweaving choreography with other dancers brings a rush that’s hard to compare to anything else.

23. Music – The thrill that comes through creating beautiful harmony by using your voice or your hands is hard to describe. I’m grateful for growing up in a household that valued music, for a mom that pushed me to be a great pianist, for a dad who loved to harmonize to the radio in the car, for support in lessons, for attending concerts, for introducing us to various genres. I’m thankful for my years in choirs in college and accompanying voice lessons for fellow students. I’m thankful for being able to minor in music. And I’m grateful that I constantly wake with a song in my heart.

24. Maps – This summer I finally caved and purchased a smart phone. I have been thankful every day since then for the GPS app, especially in this nomad year. It’s great to have a map for the road. It’s also good to remember that the world is so much bigger than one life. There is so much to explore, road to travel, life to live. The maps on my walls constantly remind me to look beyond myself and my selfish life.

25. Freedom – I’m thankful that I’m a US citizen. That I grew up in a country founded on principles of freedom. That I have the privilege to vote. That I have the freedom to speech, to protest, to worship God in the way I choose, to Google topics, to read books without restriction, to drive and travel as a female without an escort.

26. Growth – Mental growth. Spiritual growth. Emotional growth. Maturity. Striving for wisdom. Learning to let things go that are destructive. Focusing on investing in things that bring life. Surrounding myself with those who will build me up in accordance with God’s truth. Filtering the destructive messages that are so prevalent in our world. Like money will satisfy. Like you’re not valuable unless someone notices you. Like looks matter more than character.

Capitol. Capital.

I’m not sure why I have such a travel bug. But I do. Perhaps it’s from moving around to different states as a kid. Maybe it’s because of my love of learning and experiencing new things. Or it could be due to having such wonderful opportunities through Concert Choir to tour the country.

Regardless, it’s been on my life bucket list for quite some time to visit every state in the United States. And, more recently, I’ve added visiting every state capitol.

I’ve grown up in two different state capital cities – Topeka and Jefferson City. I was around 7 or 8 years old when I visited the Topeka state capitol. I thought it was the coolest thing because it had this awesome green dome. Once I moved to Oklahoma and we started homeschooling, we started visiting the state capitol to help lobby and influence public policy regarding our education. This opportunity allowed me to visit the Oklahoma City capitol building – at that time, there was no dome. Then when I was 11, we moved to Jefferson City. As a high schooler, I was highly involved with government and politics. I grew to love the beautiful building where I spent one week every year through TeenPact. It’s still the site of home as I drive into town, crossing the Missouri river, seeing it standing strong.

Topeka, KS

Oklahoma City, OK

Jefferson City, MO

I visited the Denver state capitol while at the National Fine Arts Festival in 2005. Then I was able to visit Indianapolis through college when I staffed the National Fine Arts Festival in 2007 as an Evangel rep.

Denver, CO

Indianapolis, IN

Before I went to school, I participated in an apologetics & worldview training seminar for 2 weeks called Summit. This program was held in a small town in Tennessee, and on our way through the state, my mom, sister, and I spent a day in Nashville taking in the sites – including the seat of government there.

Nashville, TN

During my years in Concert Choir with Evangel, we toured all over the country. Our west coast tour the summer of 2010 included a stop at the Boise capitol building where we sang in the rotunda. Absolutely amazing acoustics!

Boise, ID

Concert Choir, group photo in the Boise capitol rotunda

My sister and I took a road trip to Niagara Falls before she moved across country and I would be soon starting PA school. On our way back to Missouri, we stopped in Columbus, OH to view their beautiful capitol.

Columbus, OH

When my sister and brother-in-law moved to Raleigh, NC, I went out to visit them in 2013 before starting PA school. While there, we popped over to the old capitol building. 

Raleigh, NC

This past year I’ve had the opportunity to visit three other capitols. In May, Kurt and I traveled to South Dakota to take in Mount Rushmore and the Badlands. On our way back home, we made a slight detour to catch Pierre, SD. Then a week later in June, I headed out to Boston, MA for the AAPA conference with my fellow classmate, Emily. One of our tourist visits included a stop at the capitol there. And finally, last week I started my internal medicine rotation in Des Moines, IA. On my free afternoon, I was able to catch a few hours at the gorgeous Iowa capitol.

Pierre, SD

Boston, MA

Des Moines, IA

[Btw, I've also been to London (England), Nairobi (Kenya), and Washington, D.C. (USA). That's gotta count toward my global capital cities, huh?]

States visited as of November 2014. 

Capitols visited as of November 2014.

I don’t know if I’ll ever achieve my goal of visiting all the states and capitols, but I have a decent start. It’s always good to have dreams, right? In fact, recently my sister texted me saying she had a vision of us as old ladies trotting around the country glimpsing the last few states we just haven’t quite made it to yet. I’m game.

When the Going Gets Tough.

Can I be brutally honest with you? Life can be hard. I struggled with even writing and sharing this post. I hate to be vulnerable, but sometimes transparency is helpful. So, are you ready? Here it goes.

*The last few weeks have been a hugely challenging part of my life*

It seems like when it rains, it pours. But let’s back up a few months.

After my lovely summer break, I tried to mentally bunker down for this 2^nd year of rotations. Picking up and moving every month is difficult. Just as you feel like you know what you’re doing, who you’re working with, and what’s expected of you, you’re off to another location – new bed, clinic, hospital, docs, town, streets –to start over at the bottom. Every experience so far has had pros and cons, and I’ve learned a ton at each location, but the external stress is constantly threatening to overtake me. I knew PA school would be hard, and I was prepared for the academic challenge, but nobody truly warned me about the difficulty of being so lonely, feeling so inadequate, and the exhaustion that comes from uprooting every 28 days.

Of course, there have been bright spots throughout. Spending July 4^th with Kurt and his family. Exploring local libraries. Finding a quaint little café with delicious paninis. Softball games. Stargazing. Apple slushies. Lovely fall leaves and crisp autumn walks. Indian food with my roommate. Games days. Cards in the mail. Phone calls with dear family and friends.

July 4th. Red, White, & Blueberry pie.

Softball. The Punctual Puffin's fan club (the puf-fans)

Hello Fall!

Throughout the last few months, though, life has felt like a constantly juggling act – one with too many balls. As I’ve struggled to keep life in balance with academics, relationships, emotional and physical health, spiritual life, fun and rest, future plans, and everyday decisions, I have felt overwhelmed, stressed, depressed, and inadequate.

Then these things happened:

• 9.17-19 Quarterly exams.
• 9.19 I decided to start taking an anti-depressant until I get through grad school.
• 9.20 Kurt and I split. It was a painful decision and one of the hardest things I’ve been through in my life. Tomorrow marks three weeks.
• 9.22 (what would have been Kurt’s and my 15-month anniversary). On my first day of my surgery rotation, I totaled my car. Yeah, the one I just got in June this year. Fortunately, the surgeon has been gracious and more supportive than I could have dreamed as I dealt with the aftermath of this incident. After I got it towed, a rental car, updated my parents and program, called my insurance, I then started looking for another car – all in one week, on my new rotation, being on-call, in a new town, by myself. Thankfully, God perfectly orchestrated a new-to-me car and allowed me to negotiate a decent price.

My beautiful wrecked car.

My new-to-me car. Same model and year. Different color.

• 9.30 My computer died a few days later. By waiting until I was in Iowa City, the university IT department was able to fix it for free. But they had to wipe everything and re-install Windows on it. Today, one week later, I was able to pick it up – functional again!

Even though circumstances can threaten to take me down, I’m taking it one day at a time. I’ve had a huge outpouring of love from friends and family. I’m learning to be more reliant on God and to reach out to try to create new friendships. Time can be a beautiful remedy. And with that hope, I press on.

2 COR. 1:3-7

From [January to June]. Reflections.

What have I learned and experienced these past few months? Where to start?

This semester challenged me to recognize disease patterns and then ask myself the next best step with testing, imaging, and treatment. As we explored cardiac, renal, GI, surgery, orthopaedic, ob/gyn, cancer, and more, I was constantly amazed at how incredibly intricate the human body is. I love this career path I’ve chosen and the opportunity to pursue this education in order to help other people.

Although this semester was lighter in comparison to the previous two, it was by no means easy. Along with our major Foundations of Clinical Practice (FCP IV) class, we also had a health ethics, law, and policy (HELP) class, scientific literature course, and clinical lab course. Throughout the semester, we had multiple patient encounters in the hospital (performing a history, physical exam, and note write-up), learned to do blood draws, and practiced female- and male-specific exams.

Life in Iowa included incredibly cold, snowy winters. I even had to buy a warmer long, down coat to brave the elements. Not to mention, dressing in 2-3 layers minimum every day in every way. I constantly forgot to leave time to chip the ice from my windshield and sweep the snow from my car when headed out for church, run errands, or meet up with someone. And I even got parking tickets for failing to move my car every 48 hours when parked curbside by my apartment. Apparently, the massive snow buildup gave me away. All that being said, you know you’re in Iowa when people stop sporting their coats when the weather is a balmy 30 degrees. And it’s official; I’m not a winter gal.

The snow's pretty though.

Despite the school load, I’ve still remained involved in the church nursery monthly, been an active participant in our young adult book club, and completed p90x with a fellow student.

Other fun events this semester have included:

• Date nights with Kurt
• Valentine’s Day dinner and entertainment with Grad Group
• Crista Gala: our med school’s prom
• Karaoke and bubble tea with friends
• Attending a string quartet concert
• Enjoying a night out at the theater to watch Absurd Person Singular
• Exploring the Old Capitol building (finally)
• Ice skating
• Live country music and dancing
• Movies at the theater
• Wedding reception
• Chicken Lips at Graze (was told I needed to try them while in Iowa City)
• Easter egg dying and hunts
• Christian-growth conference

All in all, it was a great semester.

Valentine's Day Dinner and Crista Gala.

Easter egg-travaganza.

After many months, we finally had five weeks of summer break. And I have lived it up. First, a week in South Dakota exploring the Black Hills and Badlands with Kurt. Next, a trip to Boston for sightseeing and the annual AAPA conference. Finally, a trip to Jefferson City and Springfield to visit family and friends. In the middle of all the travelling, I moved apartments too with the help of some amazing guys.

Hello, Rushmore.

Cannoli in Little Italy, Boston.

As I prepare for the upcoming year of clinical rotations, I am slightly unnerved, overwhelmed, and excited all at once. It’s amazing how much we’ve been able to learn this past year, and I’m confident that this next one will be as rewarding. Just gonna take it one step at a time.

"The book is called opportunity & its first chapter is New Year's Day [2014]." -Edith Lovejoy Pierce

As the year comes to a close, I love to look back and see what life held in the last 12 months. This past year has been full of good memories, challenging moments, goodbyes, new beginnings, learning, love, and laughter.

“Sometimes, you have to look back in order to understand the things that lie ahead.” 
― Yvonne Woon

January-May – Upon graduating from college, my sister and bro-in-law moved away for a new start in NC. It was difficult saying goodbye to my best friends, but I was excited for what life held for them. Several friends in the area got together for one last hurrah! Such fun.

During Christmas break, one of my best friends and her boyfriend became engaged. It was fun planning and hosting their engagement party with friends and celebrating the next step in their relationship with them. Although I wasn’t able to attend their wedding a few months later, I couldn’t be happier for them.

Most of the beginning of 2013 was spent preparing for my fast-approaching departure for PA school. It’s amazing how much paperwork, phone calls, emails, and business-related things must be taken care of before moving states and starting grad school. Throughout this period of time, I was also able to shadow several PAs in radiology, interventional radiology, cardiology, and plastic surgery. All the while, I continued working in the ER and enjoying the last few months with my ACC family.

In March, over the Easter holiday, I took a vacation out to see K & N in NC. I had never been to NC before, so it was definitely fun to experience this first. We spent some quality sister time together, toured some of the local historical sites (Capitol, Governor’s Mansion, Museums of Science, History, and Art, Old Salem) as well as a trip to the Outer banks and the Wright Brothers’ National Monument. It was a great, much-needed trip, and I enjoyed every minute.

 

By April, I had somewhere to live in IC thanks to an apartment-hunting trip my mom and I took together. I'd also run the Happiest 5K on the Planet with some friends. It definitely held up to its name and reputation!

The middle of May I worked my last shift in the ER as a tech, packed up my belongings (for the 2^nd time in 2 weeks), and trekked up to Iowa with my parents and a UHaul. A few days later, I started an intense summer of PA school.

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” 
― Soren Kierkegaard

May-December – Living in IC has been wonderful. I’ve made so many good friends, gotten involved in my local church and serve in the nursery, have experienced all kinds of wonderful new things, just finished my 2^nd semester of PA school, and celebrated 6 months of dating my favorite guy. Some other highlights:

-White Coat Ceremony, June 2103

- Wildwood, two-step, line dancing, and salsa

- 4^th of July fireworks with a fellow PA friend

- Boating trip at the Res, July 2013

- One month with my man, July 22nd

- Kayaking for the first time, August 2013

- Labor Day weekend with the bf’s fam, August 2013

- Husking corn, corn maze, carvin’ pumpkins, Fall 2013

- Wilson’s Apple Orchard, October 2013

- Rough Riders’ Hockey game, November 2013

- Hawkeyes football game, November 2013

- Thanksgiving with my fam,November 2013

- Old-Fashioned Christmas and horse-drawn carriage ride, December 2013

- Fancy Christmas party, December 2013

-Six months with my man, December 22nd

-Christmas with my fam, December 2013

“Reflect upon your present blessings -- of which every man has many -- not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” 

―Charles Dickens

And that’s a brief recap of my year. I can’t even imagine what this next year holds in store, but I do know it’ll be an adventure. As I finish up my first year of school and start into my clinical rotations, I know it’ll be challenging, but also a great opportunity to learn. 2013 has been awesome. Bring it on, 2014!