Life. It's a Good Thing.

Before today, it had not crossed my mind that my blog was in serious neglect. I bet it’s feeling lonely at the moment. But no longer, for I am now bringing all my readers an update.

First off, before delving into the past, let’s begin with the present. Today is a mile-marker in my life. Halfway to the next year of my life. Yep, it’s my half-birthday. And, yes, I did celebrate with brownies and ice cream. Haha! My family always taught me to find small things to celebrate, and I have definitely taken that message and embraced it wholeheartedly. Now, on to the happenings of my life.

Of course, much of my time these last few months have been spent working long hours at the lovely St. John’s ER. Especially since one of our techs was out for weeks recovering from surgery and another tech had to quit because she began grad school. Although it is easy to view my work as just another job, I am constantly reminding myself that what I do is important. It can be discouraging when we are confronted minute-by-minute with people’s hurts, demands, and general unpleasantness. Medicine can seem like any other customer service business at times. But if we really question what we’re all about it breaks down to something like this: We save people from dying and try to improve their quality/quantity of life; the underlying presumption being that life is worth saving and improving, that life is valuable. And it is. I’m just glad I can approach it from a Christian worldview or I’m not sure it would be worth trying to approach at all.

While work has taken up much of my time lately, I have also been able to add a few news activities into my life recently. For one, zumba. Now, if you’ve never been introduced to zumba, you are missing out. Around the middle of July, I started attending classes at our Discovery Center. Zumba is a wonderful concept of using dance and choreographed steps and motions to comprise a workout session. We dance to a variety of songs with motions used to emphasize particular areas such as cardio, flexibility, and toning. I’m kind of addicted to going to the classes…haha :) Usually, I only attend once a week, but lately I’ve done a lot of zumba. It’s a way for me to meet up with my school friends and catch up or hang out with my roommate on our random nights off of work together.

I’ve also recently begun volunteering with Healthcare Ministries which is part of AGWM (Assemblies of God World Missions). When I went on my spring break missions trip to India it was through this organization. After some persuasion from a friend, I decided I wanted to get involved with the behind-the-scenes work and learn who the people were that made all the details flow smoothly. It’s been a great opportunity to meet people, stay informed about the world of medical missions, and learn what has to happen in order for trips to be successful. Most of my work has been with logistics – working on spreadsheets for flights, researching country facts/culture/history to send out to team members, copying documents and licenses of the med professionals to send to the host countries, and helping with filing. I’m hoping to branch out eventually to working other departments as well, but so far I feel like I’ve learned so much just in the one.

Recently, my sister and I attended the women’s conference at James River Assembly – Designed for Life (DFL). The amazing speakers shared from their experiences and expertise, and we were moved to embrace not only ourselves, but also other people. The line-up included: John and Debbie Lindell, John and Helen Burns, Nancy Alcorn (of Mercy Ministries), and Charlotte Gambill. Throughout the three days of the conference, we learned, were challenged, relaxed, and had fun being girls :) This event was definitely a highlight of the summer/fall…first, anticipating the event; then enjoying the event; now, reflecting on the event. It’s always wonderful to be encouraged in the faith, and that’s what DFL is all about. To see highlights from this year, click here.

Me and my sister at DFL on the first evening.

The last thing I’ll related is this past weekend. I attended my first Evangel University Homecoming as an alumna. Although I’ve graduated, I still have so many friends who are currently students that it almost doesn’t feel like I’ve completely left. Since I live in the same town, I really wanted to attend the festivities. The only dilemma? Work. So, with some shuffling around of the schedule and some awesome co-workers who traded me shifts, I was able to make it to everything I wanted to attend. Those events included: EU’s Got Talent, the Sci/Tech Reception, Concert Choir, and the Homecoming game (we won!). I will always be grateful for the education, direction, and friendships I received while attending this university. It really was like going home…so many memories. Can’t help thinking where I’ll be by my fifth-year reunion. Who knows?

So, that’s the update. If you’ve stuck through to the end, congratulations. I will attempt to do better with keeping up with postings in the future. For now, enjoy what you got.

I recently found this reminder the other day. I thought it was fitting to share it with you all. It's so easy to get caught up in our own little world, but our lives are short-lived in the grand scheme of time. Just something to think about...

Nine Things God Won’t Ask You On That Day

1. God won’t ask you what kind of car you drove. He’ll ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.

2. God won’t ask the square footage of your house. He’ll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3. God won’t ask about the clothes you had in your closet. He’ll ask how many you helped to clothe.

4. God won’t ask what your highest salary was. He’ll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5. God won’t ask what your job title was. He’ll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6. God won’t ask how many friends you had. He’ll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7. God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived. He’ll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8. God won’t ask about the color of your skin. He’ll ask about the content of your character.

9. God won’t ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation. He’ll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven and not to the gates of Hell.

Oh, Be Careful Little Ears What You Hear

When asked in the past which sense I would like to keep if I could only have one, I always responded with sight. I couldn’t even imagine a world where there was no possibility of viewing people’s facial expressions, the beauty of nature, or reading text on a page. In my opinion, it was far less of a loss to not be able to hear, smell, taste, or touch something. But lately I’ve been re-evaluating my decision.

Certainly, the best scenario would be to keep all five senses. However, if left with only one sense, I no longer know which one I’d choose. You see, within the last week, I’ve developed an ear infection and lost hearing in one ear and been left with only muffled sounds in the other. It’s an extremely frustrating and limiting situation, and it’s made me realize more consciously the importance of hearing. As a musical person, I always knew it would be difficult to not be able to hear well. And working with people makes hearing an absolutely vital sense to have in the emergency room.

Hearing is helpful in everyday situations as well though. For example, I was driving the other day and an ambulance crossed the intersection four cars in front of me; I couldn’t hear the sirens and it kind of freaked me out. I won’t say there aren’t any advantages to hearing loss though…lately, it’s far easier to ignore the crying kid in the back row of the movie theater or the road noise while trying to fall asleep. There are definite disadvantages though. Like not being able to hear your alarm or needing to turn my head so my right ear can hear the conversation.

I’m not too panicked about the situation yet because I still have some antibiotics to finish off, but hopefully this won’t be a prolonged effect. In the meantime, I just keep waiting and praying and hoping I’ll be able to hear clearly soon. It couldn’t come soon enough.

Baking Adventures :)

If I had to list some of the best perks of having our own apartment, they would include the following:

1. Dishwasher. No longer do we have to do all our dishes by hand as was the case in the dorms and my last apartment. Not that doing dishes by hand isn’t exactly fun…Megan and I have bonded over a dishful of soap and not-so-pristine plates and silverware, but it is wonderful to have the option of just loading up the appliance, throwing a tablet of cleaning powder in the compartment, and turning the knob to begin the transformation process :)

2. Washer and Dryer. In the same category of cleanliness, there is the washer and dryer. Although we are currently renting the appliances (therefore still having to pay for laundry), it is wonderfully convenient to have these two machines in our apartment. We can do laundry whenever we want to, as many times a week as we need to, and don’t have to lug our clothes up and down three flights of stairs anymore. I seem especially blessed to have usually lived on the third floor, and I don’t miss those treks to the laundry room at all.

3. Stove. And last but not least is the perk of having a stove/oven. I’ve not always enjoyed cooking, but for as long as I can remember I’ve loved baking. This summer, Megan and I have experimented with several different recipes. Our co-workers love us because we are constantly bringing in our latest attempt to satisfy our sugar-cravings. Since moving in, we have always had some delicious dessert lying around waiting to be eaten. And of course, we aren’t eating them all by ourselves! We’ve made coffee cake, Tiramisu layer cake, carrot cake, chocolate molten cake, peanut butter/chocolate chip cookies, cheesecake, Amish Friendship Bread, orange/maple scones, blueberry/white chocolate scones, cappuccino muffins, and cinnamon rolls just to name a few. I thought I’d share some of our successes with you. These were definitely some recipes we will make again for years to come :)

Cappuccino Muffins

(recipe: Corrine Lowenberg)

2 cups flour
¾ cup sugar
2 ½ t. baking powder
1 T. instant coffee
½ t. salt
½ t. cinnamon

1 cup milk
½ cup melted butter, cooled
1 egg, beaten
1 t. vanilla
¾ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Mix the dry ingredients. Add the melted and cooled butter, egg, milk and vanilla.
Blend lightly together. Add the chocolate chips. Put in greased muffin tins. Bake at 375 degrees for 15-20 minutes. Makes 15-18 muffins.

Chocolate Molten Pudding Cake

(kraftrecipes.com)

1 pkg. (2-layer size) devil's food cake mix
1 pkg. (12 oz.) BAKER'S Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chunks, divided
3 cups cold milk
2 pkg. (4-serving size each) Chocolate Instant Pudding
1/3 cup Italian Cappuccino mix
1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon

PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Prepare cake mix as directed on package. Stir in half of the chocolate chunks. Pour into greased 13x9-inch baking dish or shallow casserole dish; set aside.

POUR milk into large bowl. Add dry pudding mixes, flavored instant coffee and cinnamon. Beat with wire whisk 1 min. or until well blended. Pour over cake batter in center of pan; sprinkle with the remaining chocolate chunks.

BAKE 1 hour or until cake appears baked in the center. Cool slightly.

1 Peter 1:16

My heart is heavy with the hurt of those around me. Recently, I’ve been around those who are going through extremely difficult circumstances…and some don’t even know they are. It amazes me the terrible advice people give out to others and by which they live themselves. Although I can’t go into details for the protection and privacy of said people, I’ve witnessed the following: one who nearly died from drinking so much alcohol; another who advised her daughter just to live with her fiancé just to avoid making a possible mistake by marrying him; one who tolerates a live-in boyfriend who verbally destroys her self-esteem; another who is in the process of a divorce due to physical abuse; and yet another whose son wrecked his car the day he got his license and ended up as a trauma in the ER.

And these situations are only reflective of my co-workers. When it comes to patients, there are drug addicts, neglected children, women in domestic abuse rescue centers, the homeless, the hopeless, those diagnosed with cancer, couples facing miscarriages, and teenage girls with STDs. Many of these people are not responsible for the circumstances in which they find themselves; some are responsible and are either blind to the fact or in denial.

As a Christian striving to live a pure life, I feel as if I stick out like a sore thumb. My roommate and I have discussed this several times recently because she is in the same boat at her place of employment. As women who strive to live as Jesus did, we don’t have a lot in common with the world. Our experiences don’t include sex, drugs, drunkenness, rebellion, and crime. And therefore, we have little to offer in way of conversation…not that we’d care to share.

To me it’s not a badge of honor to not be able to remember a holiday because I was passed out drunk and doing things I normally wouldn’t do. It’s not a mark of pride to gamble away my money in Vegas or adopt a child with a lesbian partner or do shrooms and trip out. These are not the lofty act to which we are called. And I am not going to feel guilty that I have not gone down the rough, hard road of willful, sinful, disobedient living. We are called to be holy, even as God is holy. Some of these people claim to be heaven-bound, but there is doubt that they are striving to be all the God wants them to be.

My heart aches for them to know the fullness of Christ Jesus in their lives - to be filled to overflowing with divine purpose and joy in life. It is such a glorious thing to be reminded that amidst all the despair and darkness of the world, there is a light and a hope! God hears us when we pray; he will use us to bring glory to his name. And he’ll start right where we are.

Fish Sandwiches: Just What the Doc Ordered

Sometimes I wonder if God looks down and smiles at us in our childlike desire to figure it out on our own. Like a toddler trying to open a door by banging on it with all his might, but not tall enough to reach the door knob, we may know how to get what we want, just not be able to do so in our own strength. I’ve been reflecting on the reality that our God is one of miracles. He is our provider. His heart yearns for us to love him and those around us, and he also desires for us to seek him for the very source of that love.

Recently, I have been in much thought, prayer, and conversation about the path of my life. God has placed desires in my heart that don’t make sense together; they seem in conflict with each other both with regards to time and money. Those desires: medicine and missions. Now, it doesn’t seem like these would be in opposition. There are so many options for medical missions work. But, I’m considering the less logical direction of missions before medicine. And that brings up finances….

It costs money to travel, eat, and minister. It also costs money to pay back loans, pay rent, and buy gas. The number I’m roughly calculating I will need for everything to happen as envisioned is $35,000 in one year. Seem impossible at this point? Yes.

However, as I’ve been reading through Mark’s gospel, I’ve been reminded that Jesus is the master of the impossible. Take, for example, the story of him feeding the 5,000 men (plus women and children) with one boy’s small lunch. The disciples with their natural eyes couldn’t see how that amount of food could feed that amount of people; but it did. And, in addition, there were plenty of leftovers.

Their situation is not much different from mine. I don’t have enough resources on my own – just a fraction of what is necessary. But if it’s God’s plan, then it doesn’t matter. He can and will provide. Even if I can’t see how he’ll work out the details, I know if he has his hand on the door knob, the door will open.

Truths from the Emergency Room: Part 2

Sometimes I feel like all I relate lately revolves around work, but honestly that’s where I’ve spent most of my time recently. Therefore, I think it’s appropriate to share a little about what I’ve been learning there. Keep reading to find out…

1. Complaining is not productive. You can complain and gripe and rant about the injustices of the system and you can still not achieve anything productive. This view comes from an employee/fellow co-worker stance. I work with some people who always talk as if they are the victim when it comes to what patients they see, when they see them, the time constraints, etc. However, I’ve observed much more gets accomplished when less talking and more acting occurs. At times, it’s difficult to remain positive and optimistic when surrounded by Johnny Raincloud and Debbie Downer, but I continue to try to keep a bright outlook on the situation.

2. People lie. No duh! That's a no brainer, right? Well, this one has been more difficult for me to embrace and I believe I know the reason. My entire life I’ve been surrounded by my Christian family, friends, school, etc. where principles and values such as honesty and integrity are upheld and assumed. My reality thus far has proven that people have good and decent intentions and are telling the truth. But the more I’m at the ER, the more I’ve had to come to grips with the fact that people are sinners, manipulative, addicted, and violent. They come seeking relief from pain and consequences and will do whatever they deem necessary to obtain it. It’s difficult for me to change my mindset to constantly consider that someone is trying to deceive me. I’m still not incredibly successful in this area, but I’m sure I will continue to improve as I work.

3. Having initials behind your name (M.D., D.O., P.A., N.P., etc.) does not exempt you from common courtesy. Now that I’ve been at the ER for several months, I’m beginning to be able to evaluate which practioners I admire and respect and which ones I don’t want to model my career after. There is one particular doctor who is always kind to those “beneath” him. He lets you pass before him instead of running you over; he says thank you when you do something for him EVERY time instead of not even acknowledging your presence; he laughs with his patients; he comforts those who are grieving; he gracefully handles fellow co-workers’ and his own frustrations; and he doesn’t (at least publicly) indulge in the gossip circle so prevalent in any work setting.

4. Never assume anything. I’ve learned the hard way that this lesson should be taken to heart. Just when I think it’s safe to assume something, I end up wishing I hadn’t. For example, assuming that surgery knows you’re coming since the nurse just called up with a report and therefore not calling…but being directed to the wrong surgery waiting area and causing a whole lot of unnecessary chaos, panic, and stress. Or that the computer tells the truth – a room is marked clean so we move a patient there…only to find out it’s not just dirty but trashed. Or thinking someone was just correcting the pronunciation of their name when you call them back…only to learn that the wrong patient answered and was mistakenly roomed. All of the tedious, detailed protocol that we have to follow saves us from making these careless mistakes. There are no corners to cut when it comes to emergency medicine. And this unit only functions well when everyone works together this way.

So, there you have it: my latest revelations about life. There are so many things that I’m learning. Although, at times, it seems like I’m so far away from what I actually enjoy (the medicine part), I am learning highly valuable interpersonal skills such as teamwork, communication, conflict resolution, effective resource utilization, and good patient interaction. And, on that note, I’m going to wrap this post up. I have one more day at work before having a much needed break, so I must catch some sleep.