Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Difference a Few Months Can Make

Recently I’ve been reflecting on the difference a few months can make. I was just relating to a friend today how things I was unsure of or concerned about have resolved themselves. Last November, at a point in my life when I was completely overwhelmed, I went to talk to my choir director. She listened to me as I poured out my concerns, encouraged me in my decision to fast and pray for God’s direction, and kept me in her prayers as well. As of two weeks ago, all of the issues had an answer. But I didn’t know what those answers would be in middle of November 2010…

My reason in sharing this difficult time in my life is to encourage you in your difficult times. That time may be now or in the future, but either way I can attest to God’s faithfulness. It’s hard and goes against our human nature to trust him. It feels so much better to be able to take the situation into our own hands and DO something about it. But that’s the worst thing we could do.

Let me fill you in on what I was facing just a few months ago.

1. School – I was coming up on finals, and I only had one more round of tests in which to maintain my perfect GPA. This caused a lot of self-induced stress. Then I also had to study for the algebra CLEP test that I had waited 4.5 years to take. (Side note: I literally took the test on my last day of college; the day I passed the CLEP is the date on my diploma for graduation.)

2. Employment – I knew I needed a job for when I came back after break, but I honestly didn’t have time to submit applications. I felt like I had no connections to people here in the medical field, so I didn’t even really know where to start.

3. Finances/Loans – Not only did I want to get a job in the medical field for experience, I needed a job to help pay for an apartment and bills. Plus, loan repayments would begin 6 months after graduation.

4. Apartment – There were a few other girls and I who were thinking of getting an apartment together, but only one of us had any assurance of income (and her’s was through student loans because of student teaching). I knew I wanted to stay in Springfield, but all of us were unsure of our situations, so it was stressful.

5. Relationship – I was at a point where I was unsure of the direction of a special and significant relationship in my life. I desperately needed God’s wisdom and guidance in this area.
On top of all the major changes that come with ending one stage of life and beginning another, I also had to think about moving my dorm possessions out of my room before break (but not having anywhere to store them) and traveling to Kenya and being out of the country for nearly 4 weeks.

And, now, let me relate how these needs were met. The two other girls (besides the student teacher) finally heard back from their interviews and were hired! We decided to sign a 6-month apartment lease. I submitted many applications to the two hospitals here and received a call from one for an interview, which I attended the week before school ended with no guarantee of knowing if I’d receive the position until several weeks later. I passed my finals with A’s, took and passed my CLEP, got all of my dorm room stuff moved (thanks to a friend) into my suitemate’s room to store during Christmas, made it to Kenya safe and sound, and had a wonderful time while there during break.

While in Kenya, I would occasionally have periods of time when I would begin to panic about my situation back in the States when I would return. My bank account was looking pretty slim, I had signed the apartment lease, and I didn’t have a job. But honestly, the only thing I could DO about it was trust God. I literally couldn’t call the hospital to follow up since I was in a different country. I also only had a first name of the person who had interviewed me so I didn’t even know who to call. It was a great time of relying on my faith in my Creator. He had a good plan for me whether I could see how things would work out or not.

The night we got back to the States I couldn’t sleep because of jet lag. Although I had checked my texts once back, I didn’t see that I had any voicemails to check. While lying there in bed not able to sleep, thinking about the huge job ahead of me of moving my stuff to the new apartment and needing to follow up with the hospital, I had the feeling to check my messages. What do you know, I had a voicemail on my phone offering me the job for which I had interviewed. Such relief!

And the final thing – the relationship – yeah, that one was finally resolved 2 weeks ago. It’s been difficult to lose the attention and affection of one of my closest friends, but I know time will make it easier. And it’s caused me to be reminded that human love cannot fully satisfy our longings – only God can. Yesterday I was at a women’s rally, and the speaker made an illuminating remark – God is love and we were made in the image of God. Therefore, we can were created with the desire and ability to embrace his love. And perfect love is many things: patient, kind, not envious or easily wronged, always hopeful and perseverant. God’s love never fails.

So, that’s my story. It’s amazing how much can change in 3 months. All of my concerns have been met; some in ways I would have never seen or expected. Although I’m not sure exactly why I felt impressed to write this post, I did feel strongly that I should. Maybe it’s for you to be encouraged. Or perhaps it’s for myself – to be able to see God’s past work in my life so that I can be encouraged to trust him with my future now. Either way, my hope is that you will be able to see that not every difficult thing lasts for a lifetime. God is faithful. You can rely on him for your answers.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Lessons of Life

Maturity is hard. Transformation is painful. But in the end, something beautiful is achieved.

These last few days I have felt like a caterpillar trying to break out of a cocoon or a toddler constantly trying to learn how to walk and ending up face-first on the ground. It’s difficult adjusting to change, and sometimes in the process one ends up with bruises and injuries.

Even though I may be lonely at times, I know One who will never leave me alone. When I fail to guard my heart, His heart overflows with love for me. During times when depression tempts me, His joy is ever-present. And in the midst of change, I can rely on the only One who never changes.

These truths I must rely upon; otherwise, life could overwhelm me.

Monday, January 31, 2011

One-Month Reflections: 2011

As we near the end of the month, I realize that I've been terribly neglectful of posting on this blog. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I've returned from the trip to everyday, normal kind of activities. Or maybe it's due to the fact that so many changes have occured that I don't know how to adequately express my thoughts. Or the fact that other things seemed more important at the time. Or, lastly, that I didn't know how to relate everything I've been feeling without being vulnerable. Regardless, I've decided to share some of my life these past few weeks with you again :)

Since January 10th, many changes have occured. Most notably, I've moved into a new apartment here in S-town with three other amazing girls from Evangel. Three of us are grads; the other is student teaching this semester. It's been a blessing to live with these women, share life with them, and become acquainted with new friends. This apartment definitely was an upgrade from this summer's: majorly. Haha! The four of us share 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms along with a living room and kitchen. Perks include a washer and dryer, dishwasher, pantry, and porch with a storage closet. I am more than content with our living arrangement. Another perk is being so close to where I work, which leads me to the next big change that has occured.

The night we flew back in from Kenya I decided to check my voicemail while trying to fall asleep (stupid jet lag!). In an answer to prayer, I had received a call offering me the one and only position I had applied to before leaving for Christmas break: ER technician at a local hospital. Between that time and now, I have passed background checks, signed my life away in new-hire paperwork, and attended 4 days of orientation. Today was my first round of clinicals in the med/surg unit. I still have 1 more week of orientation and 2 more weeks of training before I'll be placed in the ER. I am incredibly grateful to be gaining this medical experience. And God knew what he was doing when he placed me in the ER; I can't handle boring, monotonous jobs, and the ER is anything but boring :)

In my spare time I've spent hours visiting with amazing friends, went home to see my incredible Mom and Dad (oh and the dog, haha!), read several books, finished another season of Psych, worked out numerous times, made a couple treks to Orange Leaf, spent some time babysitting my 4 favorite little men here in town, tasted Russian tea, had a roomie girls' night complete with a chick flick and cupcakes, volunteered at Convoy of Hope, and signed up to be an English Conversation Partner with a foreign exchange student from Vietnam.

Although at times it's incredibly difficult being away from Evangel, I am trying to distance myself some. It's hard to limit my time when most of my friends are still there, but I know it's healthy to give them space and for me to be able to adjust to my new stage of life. No matter how badly I wish I were still there with my circle of friends and professors, I can't dwell in the past without crippling my present. So, I continually rely on God to meet my need for friendship, take extra measures to initiate meeting with friends so as not to become too lonely, and learn to be content being alone. I've never really struggled with needing to be the center of attention, surrounded by a large group of fans (so to speak), but I know myself...and I know that especially during the winter, I'm more prone to being slightly depressed. Not to worry; it's not a big deal and I'm aware of it...just being real.

So, as we creep up on February, pause to reflect on the month that's passed since we rang in the New Year 2011. Looking back on my own experiences, I notice several differences. January 1st found me under the warm, night sky of Nairobi, Kenya gazing up at the stars and watching fireworks burst. February 1st will find me in America anticipating below-freezing windchills and a blizzard warranting the governor of my state to put the National Guard on alert. Two completely different situations. In the past month, I've experienced incredible growth in some areas; I've regressed several steps in others. But through it all, I know that God is still the same, his love is unfailing, and his plan is good. And despite the uncertainty of the future, I know I can trust the One who created all time and space. May you rest confident in this assurance as well as we pass another milestone of this year.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Home Again, Home Again

*continuation of our return travels

We made it back to the London airport with plenty of time to grab our carry-ons, go through security, and make our gate. It had been a lovely day, but at that point we were just ready to be home. The next 8 hours of flying brought us to Chicago. It’s always an interesting feeling going through customs; being allowed back into your home country. I was coming back to the familiar, but not everything was the same; I had changed and my perspective was different.

The first things I noticed when arriving in the airport were the Christmas decorations and snowflake lights along the highway outside the airport. It was the most Christmas-y I had felt all break. I was hit by the difference between the O’Hare and the Nairobi airports. One was cold and enclosed; the other was warm and open.

There are always little things that stick out when assimilating back into American culture. With India, I had only been gone a week, but I was coming back from an entirely different Eastern culture. This time I was gone nearly four weeks, but I had been in a most Westernized country. In both cases, I noticed different things. Both times were difficult in different ways.

One thing that always gets me is the hesitancy I have with drinking water out of the fountain. I almost feel guilty. “Is it safe? Am I ok drinking this? I can’t drink this; it’s not filtered.” Haha! “Oh, wait. We’re in America. It’s fine. Get a grip.”

Another thing I noticed this time was the prevalence of disposable wrappers, cups, bag, etc . with the fast-food restaurants. The portion sizes were also much larger and I could tell the difference in the healthiness of the food. I thought it odd when everyone was going on and on about how much healthier the food in Kenya was – how they could tell the difference from school to home, there were less preservatives, etc. I didn’t understand and didn’t notice the difference going from America to Kenya. But from Kenya to America I could taste and feel the difference in my body as I was eating the food. And then everything they said finally made sense.

Our layover in Chicago was only 2 hours, so we were soon on the plane for Springfield. Although we were delayed in leaving due to a problem with the lights in the cabin that had to be fixed, I didn’t notice. I was asleep before we took off and stayed asleep until just before landing. When we arrived in Springfield, a good friend from school and one of my new roommates was there to pick us up. It was great to see her after our 37 hours of travel. It was snowing and icy. What a change from the 70 degree weather and sunshine of Kenya! On our way out of the airport parking lot, we even spun out on the ice. The rest of the trip back to Evangel was uneventful and soon we were greeting the girls in the dorm. I spent the night with Ruthie one last time in Walther.

The trip to Kenya was amazing. Besides amazing, there are many other adjectives I could use to describe it: unforgettable, life-impacting, humbling, stretching, and rewarding. I hope throughout these posts you have been able to develop a respect for the Kenyans, the people who work and serve in this beautiful country, and the M’s who love the people they have chosen to live with. I’m sure what I’ve experienced and have tried to relate barely touches the surface, but I’ve made a good effort and it’s certainly a good beginning.

London Bridge...is falling down?

For many years now, I have wanted to go to Europe, particularly England. And on our 11-hour layover from Kenya to the States, Ruthie and I were able to do explore London. We had sat down with the google search bar earlier in the break to map out a path we wanted to take, so we were prepared. We even had metro schedules printed off. It’s amazing though how things can look so nice on paper and are so different from reality. Like the differences in time that we calculated for making it through the line for UK entry. Or the difficulty in exchanging currency, finding the luggage storage place, and buying a metro pass. And everything cost more than we had calculated from online. But in the end, it was all good.

After we had stashed our carry-ons for the day and bought our underground pass, we were on our way into the city!!! The underground ride was about an hour to our first stop – London Bridge. We exited the underground, emerged above, and followed the signs that indicated the direction of London Bridge. When we made it to the river and walk though, we couldn’t believe we were actually at the right place. That’s London Bridge? It was so unimpressive. Just a normal, plain bridge. But, low and behold, it was the bridge we sought. Haha! It was even engraved for our convenience.

Despite its humble appearance, Ruthie and I decided to make it into an epic moment and cross the bridge with the hundreds of people swarming into the city for work who were doing the same. I honestly can say we were the only people in that mass who were wearing jeans. Everyone else was dressed up to impress. And they were all in black and gray…a little odd. We definitely stood out with our purple-ish and blue coats. We had an awesome view of the more impressive Tower Bridge from the center of London Bridge and did not miss the photo opportunity it afforded.

Then we headed back to the underground to make our way to Parliament. Alas, the underground on the Piccadilly line was delayed for the next 20 minutes. Ruthie and I debated walking to our next destination, but we decided that by the time we got our bearings and started in that direction, the line would be running again. So, we grabbed a free underground paper, skimmed the articles, and waited. Once the lines were cleared up, we were on our way to Parliament, Big Ben, the London Eye, and Westminster Abbey.

When we debarked from the underground train, we saw an amazing sight. Parliament was beautiful. It’s amazing to think about the influence of the British political system on the rest of the world. I felt like I was coming home. It was so cool to be in the country with which America shares so much history. We took some pictures with Big Ben and the Eye of London (which was unfortunately closed to visitors due to annual maintenance) before crossing the Thames and capturing the entirety of Parliament in our pictures. We arrived on the scene around 9:30, so we heard the clock chime at that time. Then we headed over to Westminster Abbey to view it. Although we did not tour it, we ended up strolling around St. Margaret’s church nearby in an attempt to past time before 10 am when the clock would gong. Our efforts succeeded and we heard the clock strike the hour.

Upon hearing the bells chime, we headed to Trafalgar Square. On the way, we stopped to have some fun with the telephone booths and once at the square we wandered around for a little while. There were several fountains and statues. Then we glanced around some tourist-y stores before making our way to Buckingham Palace to watch the Changing of the Guard. This ceremony ended up being quite fanfarish with a parade of the guards and band marching in. There were a ton of tourists crowding the gates, so it was difficult to see some of the ceremony, but we could hear the music regardless. By the end of the ceremony (45 minutes), some people had tired of waiting around, so we had a better view into the enclosed area.

After the guard had changed, we were numb from the cold and hungry, so we looked around for somewhere to eat. Our goal was to find some cute little café on the way to the underground station we would use to ride back to the airport. It turns out that we did find a café; it was just a hole-in-the-wall, loyal-customer place that served amazing paninis and lattes. By the time we finished eating, we were happy, full, warm, and content from hearing all the British accents surrounding us. When we tipped the waitress, she told us, “Cheers, darlings.” Loved it.

*story continued in next post…

Convoy of Hope

The last afternoon I was in Nairobi I was able to meet with the director for Convoy of Hope East Africa. He and his family lived in the garden next to Ruthie’s, and the Convoy of Hope center was located the next garden over from that one.

When I met with Bryan, he took me over to the center to view the containers and models they had for working with the people. Most of the work they do involves feeding programs and disaster relief. I asked how often they typically have disaster relief activities and, although he didn’t give me a number, he said they were expecting one soon with the Sudan referendum causing an influx of refugees into Northern Kenya.

Although Convoy of Hope US has really given a push toward feeding programs, Bryan would like to see more sustainable agricultural models employed by Convoy of Hope Kenya. Some of the models available for us to see involved water filtration systems, the beginnings of a fish pond, a garden, and turkeys and chickens. They are working on expanding their warehouse and building a new dock ramp for deliveries. The containers held tons of food and clothing. One ironic story Bryan related had to do with some donated clothing. A group had given clothes for Kenya, but some of them were so big three grown Kenyan men could fit into them. Haha. Apparently, someone wasn’t thinking about the starving Africans in their attempt to be ambassadors of goodwill.

While in the States, I had checked into the intern program through Convoy of Hope, which sends teams all over the world. So, I asked Bryan if they ever had teams come through and, if so, what they accomplished. Were they beneficial to the cause? Was it worth the money necessary to be on a team?

He told me they had just had a team visit for two months fairly recently. He told me that short-term missions teams are as effective as they can be in that time frame and they had to rough it in some areas they worked. Although other Kenyans could have easily done some of the work they performed, it was beneficial on a personal level for the members of the team to experience what they did. So, in essence, he respected and appreciated the team that had been there, but the team probably gained more from the experience than Convoy of Hope Kenya.

I was extremely interested in the sustainable farming models they were trying to build. The idea behind these projects was that people interested in started to use them could come and see a model of the result in progress. As a biology major, Bryan encouraged me to pursue looking into this idea to help other people around the world. He mentioned a group in the States called Sustain Hope to contact for more information on how I could get involved.

It was extremely beneficial and interesting for me to view everything Convoy of Hope was doing internationally. I have been interested in the organization for many years now and even volunteer occasionally at their headquarters in Springfield, but I had only known about their involvement on the national level. Now, I am privileged to have seen both sides. I appreciated the time Bryan took to explain the program and it was honor to meet him. He and his family are absolutely amazing…go figure :) All of the M’s in Kenya were amazing.

After meeting with Bryan, I rushed back to Ruthie’s house to finished packing and stocking our luggage before heading out to the airport. Josiah Pennington and his dad ended up going with us to the airport since his flight left just before our’s did. It was awesome having another friend at the airport. We also ended meeting up with Nicole Beggs and Andrew Moore, one of Ruthie’s friends from Rosslyn who was on his way back to Texas for college.

We congregated at Java House (a great coffee house/restaurant), waited in a horrendously long line, and ordered some coffee. On the way to the airport, Uncle Steve told Josiah he would give him some money so Josiah could take us on a date and buy us coffee. Then he proceeded to joke that we were all pathetic – we were a trio going on single dates together. Haha! So, thanks to Uncle Steve, there we were in the airport at the end of a terminal drinking our mochas and lattes…and sweltering. It was kind of a joke because they had air conditioner units there, but none of them were turned on. Supposedly, it was bad news for anyone who tried to change that situation. Supposedly, they knew this from first-hand experience.

Well, long story short, we had a great time chilling with each other, then proceeded to pass through security and wait for our flights. Nine hours later, our plane touched down in London. It was 5:30 am. And then the crazy day began…

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Final Weekend and Goodbyes

After we returned from Brackenhurst, we had a few hours to get ready for Julia to leave for Sudan. Thus, there was laundry, and packing, and family pictures, and lunch. Then we headed over to village to meet up with her team, loading up her luggage, said our goodbyes, and the buses pulled out for the airport. It was such a joy to meet and visit with the team from Sudan. The work they are doing in Khartoum is commendable. The teach at a school in a strictly Muslim area of the country, braving the harsh desert environment of 110 degrees, strict dress codes, and language barriers. They were headed back the day before the referendum.

Some of you may not even be aware of the referendum. I must confess I wouldn’t have been if not for being in that part of the world. Essentially it’s a vote for Sudan to split into two countries – south and north. I may have already mentioned this vote, but it’s a difficult situation. The south wants to split because of the horrible oppression and violence they’ve endured from the Muslim north, but the north wants access to the oil-rich areas of the south. They want the land but not the people of the land. If the countries split, the north will become much more strictly Muslim, making the gospel even more challenging to share.

It’s a hard situation, and it was nearly inevitable that there would be violence. So the team was heading back the day before, school was closed the day of the referendum, and then they were just going to wait and see if they needed to evacuate.

After Julia and her team had departed, we decided to eat lunch and shop a little at Village. We had Indian food for lunch, and then went and purchased some awesome leather sandals with great beadwork. Our last stop was Nakamat for tea, coffee, juice, and some other Kenyan items. My new favorite flavor is passion fruit. I’ve never seen it in the States, but it’s everywhere in Kenya. The actually fruit was not my favorite – more like a gel-filled fruit with crunchy seeds – but the juice is amazing. So, I stocked up, hoping the boxes would make the trip back to the States in my luggage. And they did!!!!

So that was our last Saturday in Kenya.

Our last Sunday consisted of attending Ruthie’s home church (Bahati) again. This time, though, it was a normal service. We went to the first service in English. There were some Swahili phrases here and there, but I could sing along in worship this time, which was nice! We took tea and chapattis with the pastors before the service began and, in true Kenyan style, arrived late to the service. (I’ll have a video clip up on f/b of the worship soon. It looks like more people are white there than there usually are because the security team from Brackenhurst was attending. Normally Ruthie’s family is the only white one there. Haha.)

After saying our goodbyes to the people at church, we headed over to have one last round of Ethiopian food. It was a little strange not having Julia with us, but we still had a delightful lunch. It’s amazing how something that looks so disgusting can be so delicious. But it is. One cool thing about going to an Ethiopian restaurant with Ruthie’s family is that they can relate and talk to our servers in Amharic since they lived in Ethiopia. It’s pretty sweet. Habasha seemed to be the place to eat because several other M families ended up being there too. Just goes to show it’s a small world after all.

We headed back to the house after lunch to finish packing. Our flight left at 11:30 pm, but it’s wise to leave the house about 4 hours before the flight, so our plan was to head out around 7 pm. That only left 5 hours to pack, shower, have dinner, and for me to run over and talk with the director of Convoy of Hope for East Africa. It all happened though. Barely :) In the next posts, I’ll finish up telling about the trip including my chat about Convoy of Hope, our layover in London and trip home, and some of the differences I’ve noticed since being back in the States. Thanks for hanging with me this long. It’s been a great journey.