Of Life and Other Things.

Recently, there has been a trend to analyze social media’s impact on our lives. And the danger that comes from only seeing “one” side of a person. You know how it is…log on to Facebook and see only the things which that person cares to share. It often leads to an unbalanced portrayal, leaving us discontent with our own lives or wishing things were different. The truth is a screen does not do justice to capturing a multi-dimensional life. However, with that disclaimer, continuing reading for an update on my life and thoughts lately.

I haven’t shared any thoughts about my trip to Africa online mostly because it takes time to process and summarize. I’m not quite ready to comment yet on that aspect of life. But there are so many other thoughts swirling through my head. To write a coherent post connecting all those thoughts is pretty much impossible. However, even with some disjointedness, read on, Dear Reader, read on.

Satisfaction & Moving On.

I long to be satisfied fully by Jesus. Yet many days, when I step away from the rush of work and my schedule, I have this vague underlying sense of discontent. The thing that concerns me the most is that I’m usually such a content person. Perhaps, it’s to prepare me to make changes. Or maybe it’s to stretch me to be more reliant on God and his plan for my life – an incredible, intimidating plan that I don’t dare to imagine for fear of failing. I suppose only time will tell.

Goals. What Really Matters?

Throughout life, some goals change while others remain. It’s been hard to stay motivated about some goals lately. Maybe it’s the cold, wintery days. Or the fact that I was exhausted coming back from Africa and being thrown right into my next rotation. Maybe it’s due to the changes that come with time. Or the fact that time is rapidly approaching and June 20^th loams right around the corner. As I was reflecting on where I see my life headed, it’s a vast unknown in many ways. And like they say in Alice in Wonderland, if you don’t know where you’re headed, it doesn’t much matter which way you go. But God promises to be a lamp to guide our steps and a light to illuminate our path. And if I can only see one step at a time, I’ll take each one by faith.

Such true words.

Moral tension. Ethical indignation. The right to life, but mostly “for the mother.”

Working in ob/gyn at the University of Iowa, I knew I would encounter many ethical situations in which I was not comfortable. Since we are such a “progressive” state and city, abortion is routinely offered and performed. It’s been challenging to be surrounded by a majority that does not see life the way I do, and who indirectly make you feel like you’re unintelligent for holding such views. Fortunately, I have not been required to view termination procedures. But even in grand rounds this morning, we talked about the state of “reproductive freedom” in the U.S. and how “women should not die because of an unintended pregnancy” due to back-alley abortions. True, but neither should babies.

Opposition. Pray & Act.

This past Sunday we studied Nehemiah 4-6. It was certainly helpful to note the opposition Nehemiah faced and summarize his response, which was consistently two things: pray and act. Of course, it’s not super worthwhile just to determine these things; the real value comes with applying them in our own lives. We examined our individual response to opposition to close out the study. And it was then that I realized I often pray, but sometimes my action is to just wait. Don’t get me wrong. I think waiting can be the appropriate God-directed thing to do in many situations. But there comes a time to act. And I’m learning that lesson in my own life recently.

Recent Happenings

It’s been wonderful to be “home” these last few weeks. And while here, I’ve been able to expand my mind, comfort zone, and friendships. I’ve joined a ladies’ bible study and have been able to connect more with these women through studying Isaiah’s life and challenges. Sometimes one just needs girl time, which I often miss when I’m away on rotations. Another group I’m involved with met last week to discuss Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller as part of our book club. Such a challenging read. If you haven’t read it, do. Then on Saturday, I attended a Valentine’s Day evening hosted by the guys from church. It was lovely as expected, and the entertainment was fantastic. I’m so blessed to be part of a community that cares. Also, studying for my rotation, game days, getting my computer repaired (*sigh* again), drinking entirely too much coffee, finishing Sherlock season 3, phone chats, ethnic dinners, and friend dates have been part of life these past two weeks.

A first for me: eating fish from the bone. Or in this case, half a fish :)

Having fun at the Valentine's Dinner with the gals.

Idols

Speaking of Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller, I’ve been thinking about the idols in my own life. I’ve always been one to somewhat deny, at times, I value anything more than God – who he is, for himself, and not for what he does. It’s a sobering, terrifying thought to conclude there are things in life that I've put more practical emphasis on as important, even if transiently. And that realization is humbling and appropriately inspires sorrow and repentance. It will most likely be a struggle for the rest of my earthly life to keep things in their proper perspective and priority, but it’s a struggle worth fighting.

So, that’s life in a nut shell. Just a reminder before I head out…let’s try to not limit people to who they let us see. Every morning as I ride the bus and walk through the hospital I try to picture what someone may be facing that day and say a brief prayer as they pass. It can feel overwhelming to me to know there are so many people most likely dealing with many huge challenges, but our God is not overwhelmed. And even if it’s a brief, 5-second thought to me, he holds their lives in his hands and is constantly pursuing their souls. Just like he is pursuing mine.

Hello, Iowa. And all the beautiful snow.
Even if it barely makes double digits some days, it's home for now.


And a final video: